Sunday, April 26, 2015

The Beginning

Being terrified.

Starting any journey brings a mixture of emotions: anticipation, jitters, a sense of awe, wondering if you've packed enough underwear.  The feelings are exponentially stronger when it's your life. Right at this second, I am terrified to the point that there are slight tears in my eyes and my hands are shaking.  This is the scariest thing I've ever done. How do you take the first step in actually living your life?

There are so many of us out there, living day to day, not planing for the future.  That's not saying we don't dream, but what does it take to change the dreams to reality.  Are you truly living if you don't risks? I'm not talking jumping out of planes, though that's on my bucket list, but bucking what you've believed is your lot in life.  

In this day and age, the Internet is the most ubiquitous tool out there.  Everyone is the best critic, the most knowledgeable expert, brilliant beyond belief, but this is my allegorical airplane.  I am a creator working in a soulless environment. So I turn to the Internet. Let this be my canvas. 

Let the gods have mercy on my soul.



These are the words that I wrote on a September day back in 2012.  How far have I come in these 30 months. To honor the person I was back then, I will keep it, because frankly, I'm still terrified.  But not quite as much.  And that makes me feel good.  So on to the things that make me happy.  On to the table top games that I force my friends and family to enjoy, and enjoy them they do.  On to the books.  Oh, the books.  They have been my refuge and my solace.  They have brought me grief in their undeniable weight and space taking.  They have given me joy.  On to the words:  the languages, the linguistics, the etymologies and the onamastics.  The puns!  ALL THE WORDS!  On to the visual stories:  the movies and the tv shows that are both terrible and amazing.  And finally, bring on the happy.